Figuring things out

Blogs may include sensitive or triggering content. Reader discretion is advised.

Holy fuck.

We actually have some more answers about our things. Our therapist has been telling us to spread it among our system so we can be assured that we’re not getting swayed by outside thoughts…but we actually have more of a grasp on some of the biggest trauma things that have occurred in our life.

[I absolutely HATE our Dad-unit. He is a sick, disgusting bastard. That much I want to say right now.]

We will likely continue to differentiate between Dad-unit and Papa, as well as Mom-unit and Maman, along with other such things, bc that is how the alters who hold the actual memories can communicate, and they have not remembered any other decent identifiers to be able to talk about those who are in our memories as Papa, maman, and so forth.

Both our therapist, as well as our wife-system’s therapist has been chiding both systems on pushing ourselves far too much as well…so we’re both trying to figure out what we’re going to do to actually allow ourselves time to rest and as healthy and happy as we can be

I know our system especially wants to help out everywhere that we see that we could. But at the current stage of our healing processes, that just isn’t as feasible as any of us were hoping.

We are still so fragmented that we can’t even figure out what people in our system want to do or even like. Our system has literally been striving to be whatever any and everyone else around us wanted or needed from us…and we’ve never before had the chance to figure out what we ourselves want.

I am so thankful to our therapist and our wife-system for allowing us this opportunity for the first time in our lives.

It’s really slow going so far, but I can already tell that we are going to like ourselves so much more once our system is able to confidently be ourselves. 

Step one: learn how to end a day without a spoon-debt

I wish everyone a good (insert timezone-appropriate daypart)!!!

– Gabriel


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