Halloween (/neg)

Somehow, as a sort of goth who dresses like Walter White had a phase, I feel absolutely no excitement for tomorrow. I have no opinion on Halloween at all really. I liked it when I was a kid, we went as hyperrealistic Arthur one year. But you like those things more when you’re a kid because it’s an opportunity to do something out of the ordinary.

Now as an adult, there’s nothing I would want to dress up as (especially if I have to spend money on the costume, which I pretty much would). I may get some sale candy the day after and turn it into cookies, but that’s all I have to look forward to.

There’s some lingering disappointment, I think, just from knowing everyone else loves Halloween and I don’t give a shit about it. Luckily, my boyfriend was raised jehovas witness. So he doesn’t care about it either. I actually really prefer that, so basically I can set the hype level for most holidays in the house and it doesn’t become too much.

I wish I could enjoy things like that, but I truly don’t see the point. I wish I enjoyed things lol.

Maybe I have some aversion to it because it’s so popular. I hate to be that way bc those people are SO ANNOYING, but if everyone around me is having a fucking spectacular time and I feel just okay at best, I’m going to distance myself from it. I also do this at parties and its the main reason I hate going to concerts and similar events. I am NEVER having a good time and everyone else is screaming and carrying on. And then if I stay there I’m ruining the mood for everyone else unfortunately. So I never stay long. I don’t get invited to things, but I also wouldn’t go if I was.

I don’t care for horror movies (jump scares + screaming = not for me), oh my god jump scares are the worst, like it’s just lazy writing, maybe some people like them but I think they’re uncreative and they interrupt the flow. I’d rather just watch something I don’t have to be on edge for. Besides, horror movies show things sometimes that I just don’t think was necessary. I watched Faces of Death when I was 19 and I was low-key kinda fucked up after that.

Sorry, if your favorite holiday is Halloween this is not the blog post for you. It’s like pretty low on my holiday tier list tbh. Some people hate their birthdays, I hate Halloween. Lmao

I feel like I spend all of October waiting for October to fucking end so it can be fall themed and thanksgiving themed for awhile without everyone talking about Halloween. 

I just get into these moods where nothing appeals to me and EVERYTHING gets on my nerves. I try not to tell people too much, because again, someone shitting on your favorite thing just bc they don’t care for it gets old after awhile.

I don’t remember going trick or treating more than maybe 5 times in my life. I didn’t have any friends close to where I lived, I lived in a dangerous street full of terrible people, my parents didn’t take us out anywhere obv. I went when I was like 5-7 and then 12 and then 14. If we did any more, I don’t have any memory of it at all. Oh, I don’t know. Maybe we went every year and I just don’t know. I never had many friends so it wasn’t fun.

I have one expressly negative Halloween memory I can’t say because I think I would have to defend my actions if I did, so you wont be reading that here.

Anyway, I’m ready for tomorrow to be over.