• kingslayer

    December 17, 2022 at 4:06 am
    Level 5: Froglet

    This is Shadow though a little blurry and unsure with who.

    For me, I first started getting aware because while I had always been super forgetful, I hadn’t ever really left the house enough to have felt like I had evidence for myself and providers to believe me. As an example, I had memories from a previous host who had asked an old therapist about the possibility of DID or some other dissociative disorder, and after 5 minutes of talking about it, they said I didn’t. (My current therapist who has been more helpful has diagnosed me with DID now after years and forgetting that event had even happened to the body.)

    But then, I started college and I was struggling really hard. I would blackout in class and dissociate heavily on campus. I found notes in different styles of note-taking and different handwriting. I started hearing voices in my head that I knew weren’t external, but also didn’t feel like me and feeling like I was being ‘possessed’ and remembered some suppressed memories of experiences like this in the past. Along with huge chunks of memory that I hadn’t ever questioned until this point.

    I rediscovered that DID existed after watching BraiDID’s videos on Moon Knight and started watching more and realized that it was a lot like what I was going through. And then Alien made an appointment with a specialist that we managed to get really lucky with (which we thought we were the same person at this point) and they affirmed to us after a psych eval that we likely did have DID and that they were diagnosising us with that.

    Communication right now in this earlier stage I’m currently in is a mix of writing and leaving notes (both on paper and on private apps like private discord server with pluralkit), trying to interpret any voice or urge I might feel while co-con, and trying to understand each other based on the evidence we leave like what websites the fronter has gone to, stuff we bought, etc.