Welcome to the dissociative cafe! Forums General Chat Organisation and communication. How does your system do it? Reply To: Organisation and communication. How does your system do it?

  • Shardspace

    March 10, 2023 at 4:07 am
    Level 5: Froglet

    Really glad for this conversation because I have wondered about this too.

    I’m still relatively new to being aware of the system. It seems that a few certain parts are almost always nearby to some extent and can come into situations as needed, often co-con, I believe. Or at least I don’t lose the memories in those cases. When life gets tumultuous, on the other hand, I start to get absent minded and my partner starts to tell me about what I said or did or already took care of earlier in the day to help get me up to speed. Other than hearing things like that I don’t really have a way currently to keep track.

    For communication, it seems to be mostly feelings, and some communication where like I don’t hear the words but the thought is suddenly there. I’ve done some exploring by thinking questions or guesses and getting feedback in the form of like an excited “yes that’s right” feeling or a more draining or even upset, “no not that at all” feeling.<div>

    “I wonder if there is a-“

    “… name or not. Is Bob right?”
    (excited feeling)

    In some cases, I think there is also communication in the form of memories. Remembering suddenly a time where I felt a certain way or something had happened (good or bad) that seems to be more of a response or comment to something than just a memory popping up. It makes me think of the one Star Trek species that only spoke in metaphors from their history. </div><div>

    Before I had any idea about any of it, I would sometimes have dreams where the person in the dream knew things that I didn’t, or was aware of things in the moment that I had forgotten. Like during high school, I dreamed that someone was trying to have a conversation with me in French. They asked something like, “Comment allez-vous?” I’d recently started taking French and struggled to remember the right way to phrase the response, “Je me… j’ai… je m’appelle…” trying to remember how to say what my name was. The person chuckled when I had finally introduced myself and said, “And how are you today?”

    After waking up and thinking about it, I realized they had asked me “how are you” in French, not “what is your name.”

    Since learning about the system, I have started to pay more attention to dreams that feel different from normal dreams in that way.

    Often in the moments before I fall asleep, I do hear voices. Not typically talking to me, just around, having all sorts of conversations that I’m only getting parts of without knowing the context. Some quieter, some louder, as though I was sitting somewhere and hearing people talk as they walked through the room. I’ve heard that can be due to something else so I don’t know for sure if that’s communication, but it’s one of the things I used to think everybody had and then later realized it’s not as universal as I had thought.

    But in general I do not have a really concrete way to communicate externally, other than parts talking to our partner sometimes. So I’ll get things like, “You already told me this,” or “That’s not what you thought before. You told me earlier that….”

    I also don’t have super structured organization, at least to the extent of my knowledge. It seems that there is some amount of structure behind the scenes that I don’t see. I get the feeling that this is partially because I would be likely to panic with very direct communication.

    Sometimes I wish it was more concrete and direct, so there’d be no question. But I can’t deny that I would most likely also have a heart attack. (Image enters the mind of gatekeeper giving a wink and finger guns and saying, “That’s why.”)

    Anyway, that’s me so far. I’ve been really glad to get to hear you guys’ experiences.


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