Details

I was born a highly sensitive child with emotional intensity (never diagnosed but I think I’m also high functioning autistic and have been masking since childhood). I was scapegoated and abused in a family with a narcissistic mom (vulnerable), narcissistic brother (vulnerable) and avoidant enabling step dad. I trauma split by 7 years old and developed complex ptsd and dissociative identity disorder (that wouldn’t be discovered until trauma treatment at 36yrs old). I was diagnosed borderline at my 1st mental hospital when I was 27 but that was just one of my alters, she developed in my early teens and was usually always present around toxic people, psychiatrists & doctors. I haven’t discovered all of my alters yet which is probably why 25 years of my life is missing from my memory. I’ve developed complete self love and compassion for all of my selves but I haven’t been able to map them all out. I live a completely reclusive life now and have a badly damaged nervous system and brain. I just want to piece my life together so I can become whole. Since DID treatment is too expensive, I’m hoping a community can make me feel productive and less alone.