How to Spot Child Sexual Abuse

Signs in the Child

None of these signs will tell you that a child is definitely being abused, but they can be warning signs to pay closer attention. If you begin to see a pattern or several things from this list, it may be time to try to raise a concern with an appropriate authority who is in the child’s life but not likely to be close to or the one perpetuating the abuse (a school counselor, perhaps).

Emotional

Emotional signs are much more common than physical signs of abuse when it comes to CSA.

• Anxiety and depression
• Sleep disturbances/night terrors
• Unusual fear or resistance to be around certain people/go to certain places.
• Changes in mood, including anger and aggression
• Unexplained/frequent health problems like headaches or stomach aches
• Poor self-esteem – avoidance of relationships
• Self-mutilation, thinking of self as dirty or bad
• Suicidal thoughts
• Regression to things like bed wetting or thumb sucking
• Abnormally advanced sexual language and/or behaviors
• Too ‘perfect’ or compliant
• Changes in eating habits

Physical

Physical signs of abuse are much less common when it comes to CSA, but they still can and do happen. 

• Persistent, recurring pain with urination or bowel movements 
• Wetting themselves
• STDs
• Chronic stomach pain
• Headaches
• Bruising
• Bleeding

Red Flags in Adults

How to Identify Someone Who is Hurting or Grooming a Child

Child grooming is a deliberate action and process by which offenders gradually develop a relationship with a child. This relationship will sometimes start tame, but will escalate to a sexual relationship in secrecy. From the outside, the groomer may appear to the child as a friend – possibly even a mentor – while they’re abusing the child.

• They do not listen to or respect boundaries when told “no.”
• They try to be the child’s friend rather than fill an adult role in the child’s life.
• Engage in touching that the child or the child’s parents have indicated is unwanted.
• Doesn’t seem to have age-appropriate relationships in their life
• Talks with children about their personal problems or relationships
• Spends time alone with children outside of their role in that child’s life/makes excuses to be alone with children
• Expresses unusual interest in child’s sexual development (making comments on sexual development or sexualizing normal behaviors)
• Gift giving without reason
• Spends a lot of time with children
• Restricts a child’s access to other adults

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