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I guess I just want to say hi?… and how do y’all do this?
I was diagnosed 3ish years ago. I have been in inpatient and now i have intense therapy. I am working really hard on accepting that this is just who i am. This is what my brain did to protect me, but I hate it. I am always confused. ALWAYS. After fighting against this diagnosis with anger, poor choices and substance abuse, I am now sober and trying my best to accept myself and the diagnosis.
I just don’t understand how anyone can succeed in life like this? I can’t hold a job. Thankfully, I am a talented designer and artist and can contribute financially to my family that way…
I am 39. Queer. 2 kids. married.what do y’all do?
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2 Replies
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I pretty much lost my ability to work full-time after I became aware of my alters/headmates. DID is very good at making you appear functional, but once those trauma memories start coming back it gets rough.
My solution was to marry my childhood friend, who also has DID. We both work part-time and are both very okay with the house falling apart when our mental health goes downhill. It’s a sort of “do what you can” philosophy. But I realize that this is not much of an option when you have kids. We also live in an area where the cost of living is relatively low, and our house is payed off, so we have advantages that let us live this way.
It also kind of depends on whether you’re struggling with amnesia, PTSD symptoms, or both. Calendars, journals, and alarms can be good starting points for living with amnesia. Each system is different, so it’ll be trial and error for a bit. And some alters might need to handle things differently than others, which may be frustrating and confusing, especially if you have strong amnesia barriers.
PTSD symptoms are tougher. Only a good therapist will truly be able to help with this, as symptoms and helpful coping mechanisms vary so wildly between people and alters. The only “all around” advice I can give for that is to let yourself feel as much of your emotions as you are able – taking space to sit with them and all that. And to let yourself recharge as much as possible. I know both of those things are a lot harder when you have kids.
That’s my starting point of advice, but please take everything with a grain of salt. Nobody knows you like you do.
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Success is a funny thing. Our system has me, who was created primarily to work. So, the most success we’ve had in life is around our career. That said, it’s a very lonely kind of success. We’ve been single for 99% of our life. We have no kids. You may not think you are successful, but you have a family. That’s a kind of success we’ve given up hope of ever having.
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