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If there was a pill to get rid of DID/OSDD, would you take it?
Would I like to get rid of the flashbacks? Oh, hell yeah. Would I like to get rid of the amnesia, partial or full? Again, absolutely. Would I want to get rid of my headmates? Nope! I don’t want to make them sleep or bury them. Well, ok, honestly *sometimes* I do. 😆 But after decades of being a known system, I wouldn’t take that pill. That isn’t to say I’m against fusions – if they happen, they happen – but I don’t want to live my life without my system.
Am I still very covert and slightly ashamed of our disorder? Yes. We’re not “out” to everyone, although we’re becoming more open over time. But I think I’ve finally accepted that being multiple is OK, and no, I don’t think it in itself needs to change.
Thoughts?
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8 Replies
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Any medication in of its self comes with unknown side-effects.
With DID/OSDD being having a lack of research as it is, in a pharmacological standpoint. Hell, no!
We do not want to be supporting Big Pharma.
Our brains have only existed as a system, I do not know what life would look with only one of us here. Nor, do I really care to find out.
To us it feels like “why should one existence be prioritized over others?”
Sure, we do have fears within our system, being that we are still getting to know ours. Though, that is usually stems down to “what if everything goes quiet and we are here, all alone?” So, even in our fears, we have fears about not being a system.
We do not know the perspective of someone whose response would be “Hell, yes!”
Though we are curious, we might also be worried about “what does this mean for us?”
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I think I feel pretty much the same way. A pill to get rid of the fog and constant feeling of dreaming, oh yes. Constantly forgetting stuff, absolutely. But I’d keep the headmates and probably keep whatever’s still buried from the past hidden away.
Oh, but also the headaches. A pill to end the headaches would also be a big yes.
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Man, toughie of a question.
Who would I be if I wasn’t the way I am? If I just magically could be whole and healed? That’s the goal for me, but no pill has worked perfect for anything… depression, anxiety, somatic pain. I can’t imagine trusting a magic pill cure.
It sucks to be at a point of psychologically-based disability due to trauma. But it’s part of my reality.
I think having to deal with the process of healing is important, as much as I wish the healing journey was OVER already. I’d hate for that process to be neither here nor there; risk being called “treatment-resistant,” and just pill my way out of it.
Interesting question, as I’m being forced to ascribe value to my issues to an extent. Very thought provoking.
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I think I might try taking the pill. I’m just so tired of the whole DID-life thing. Even if I was one of the ones the pill made sleep, I think I might like it. But, with my luck the side effects would make things worse somehow.
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Yes
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Although many of us have come to accept each other and work together a bit better than before, yes, I would take the pill… and I believe many of our other alters would as well.
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I don’t think we, as a poly-fragmented system, could ever imagine living not as a system. Alters don’t come out one at a time for us, so we help each other with every activity big and small. And not switching actually usually feels more harmful than helpful for us because we switch a lot and we have multiple alters co-con and co-fronting at any given time. None of us would know how to exist without others helping us with something. If one of us was forced to be the only one in the body forever, I think they wouldn’t be able to do it on their own. The reason why we can exist and why we have been doing so much better now that we’ve accepted this is because we work together now.
I think it also depends on if the trauma would still happen in our past. Because without DID, I don’t think we’d be alive. My system has saved itself so many times. If they didn’t have anyone (even just alters to talk to in their head), I don’t think we would even be here.
I think our system is a little strange because even when we didn’t know what was going on, we knew we got “possessed” sometimes and had people living in our head. And sometimes it was hell, but sometimes, it was the only people we had to talk to at all even if we thought we were losing it. And while we do have amnesia and all the shitty PTSD symptoms and we do struggle a lot still every single day, I don’t think I’d be anywhere without my system to help me manage everything from memories, to life events, to just making sure I eat every day. So, I don’t think I would take that pill personally.
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I currently take a medication that is known as an alpha blocker, and an antiadrenogenic that regulates my adrenaline and cortisol levels, and dampens my stress response. It is able to, at least for me, regulate alter-switching, and it has been effective for me so far. The only side effect I experience is slight hypersomnolence, however, the benefits outweigh feeling a little sleepy. I will still experience dissociative intrusions from time-to-time, but they are not as often or intense as they used to be. The medication in question is called Clonidine, also known as Catapres; formerly used as a blood pressure and ADHD medication. It is an extremely low dose, only at 0.1mg, but is very strong, and I do not recommend this medication for those with issues of low blood pressure. Other than that, I have had a good experience with it overall.
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