Update Our Experiment

Blogs may include sensitive or triggering content. Reader discretion is advised.

Good morning.

It is 4:30 in the morning, and I must say that yesterday’s experiment appears to have succeeded.

Thankfully, there was nothing out of the ordinary happening that could have easily derailed the experimental process. In other words, no lousy shit happened yesterday.

Throughout the day, I was quite happy to acknowledge Chuck and allow him to follow me everywhere. Every so often, I would feel a stir and acknowledge that with Chuck.

“Okay, Chuck, keep your shit together; there’s no danger here. You can only step forward when there is danger around. That is literally your only job, so keep it together.”

I was able to work on several things throughout the day. Sometimes, I would not get as much done as I would like, but I just moved on to something else and circled back when I could.

By the end of the day, I was tired but very satisfied. I felt like Chuck and I had a much better understanding of how we, as a team, should work. I do, in fact, need Chuck, but only during times of danger. those “mom’s-kid-is-trapped-under-the car-and-she-is -now-Hercules” moments.

Who knows, maybe what I call “anxiety” is actually a newly discovered altar for me. Maybe anxiety is an altar for everyone. How amazing would that be?

Today is therapy day, and I will discuss this and see how it lies.

For now, I am just happy to be one step closer to being the boss of Chuck – without meds.

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