Our system has been writing more and more lately, and I have to say that it feels kind of amazing for ourselves to watch this unfold. Because we have a lot of very personal and specific imagery that we use when we write – I know this is probably true for a lot of systems in any art form they chose to use. Stories can keep you alive when you are going through hell. And if you turn a nightmare into your own story on a regular basis, get into the habit of it, your brain starts automatically thinking in symbolism. And voila! You have your own, unique voice.
But as I was saying, it’s kind of amazing because for a VERY long time we lost our imagery. We split so much and gave up so much of our confidence that we couldn’t even remember what the imagery meant or how to access it.
Our characters were still meaningful to us, because they were expressing our emotions. But the stories themselves and the worldbuilding became generic. We still had our feelings, but the power to “create a universe”, to live how we wanted, we let go of.
And I guess we gave up for a long time, because we thought it was gone forever. But it’s not! The writing we’ve been doing lately, I can see our imagery resurfacing. Not just the imagery, but the specific MEANING behind it, so we have control over what we are saying.
It’s really beautiful. And I’m really excited. And I love our therapist. And I’m so glad we married the person/system that we did, because they allow us to be ourselves. Life is slowly but constantly improving. And I am honestly excited to be alive.
-I know who I am, I just can’t remember my name. It will come back to me at some point, I’m sure.
<3