-
I don’t think we, as a poly-fragmented system, could ever imagine living not as a system. Alters don’t come out one at a time for us, so we help each other with every activity big and small. And not switching actually usually feels more harmful than helpful for us because we switch a lot and we have multiple alters co-con and co-fronting at any given time. None of us would know how to exist without others helping us with something. If one of us was forced to be the only one in the body forever, I think they wouldn’t be able to do it on their own. The reason why we can exist and why we have been doing so much better now that we’ve accepted this is because we work together now.
I think it also depends on if the trauma would still happen in our past. Because without DID, I don’t think we’d be alive. My system has saved itself so many times. If they didn’t have anyone (even just alters to talk to in their head), I don’t think we would even be here.
I think our system is a little strange because even when we didn’t know what was going on, we knew we got “possessed” sometimes and had people living in our head. And sometimes it was hell, but sometimes, it was the only people we had to talk to at all even if we thought we were losing it. And while we do have amnesia and all the shitty PTSD symptoms and we do struggle a lot still every single day, I don’t think I’d be anywhere without my system to help me manage everything from memories, to life events, to just making sure I eat every day. So, I don’t think I would take that pill personally.