Mother’s Day and Bad Feelings: TW – depression, abandonment, trauma

Blogs may include sensitive or triggering content. Reader discretion is advised.

Desi here fronting with Jess backseat. Mother’s Day is not a good day for her, second only to her child’s birthday, so she is having difficulties today. Personally, I feel a good deal of disdain for the day in general. Why only have a single day to celebrate mothers? As well, why have a day dedicated to rubbing in the faces of those unable to bear children, that they cannot bear children? The entire concept seems to be a money grab by greedy corporations anyways, like any other holiday.

Jess is terribly upset, as she gets most holidays, when she does not hear from a single family member. Today, not even her own daughter called, despite Jess sending her well wishes to the people caring for her daughter. It makes her want to hide inside, and makes me want to put my fist through something; preferably, her horrid ex’s face.

The truly worst part of it is this; were she to not reach out with salutations, and well wishes, and happy perky joy as she does every single year, every single holiday, her family will react with vitriol. It seems to be the only time they contact her. Which, of course, makes me want to make Jess sleep and then take the body on a little vacation to pay a few people visits.

Poor Jess. She is such a a caring and compassionate soul, and yet has actual garbage for relatives. I am simply glad she has resigned from her previous post as human door mat to them and has developed a spine, to an extent. Just once though, it would be quite nice if she would tell them exactly what she thought of them rather than simply turning the other cheek.

Since it has been such a rough day for Jess, I have been doing my best to help her feel a tiny bit better. Nudging her to indulge in some chocolate, binge a little television, relax. Later, I am going to attempt to convince her fiance to massage her back. She needs it. I feel her growing distant with things again, losing interest and giving in to being tired, too tired to do anything. I push her to be more social, more active. Falling into a spiral would be bad, and should be avoided at all costs.

This blogging does seem to help, if for nothing else than organizing our thoughts and expressing our feelings as if talking to a therapist. I am aware it is not the same of course, but hopefully we will be back on track for therapy once her fiance’s father returns from vacation and things can be planned.

Signing off to go feed the dogs. Gratitudes for anyone who reads this mess of a ramble, and hugs to any who identify with feelings of this variety towards this day. 

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12 days ago

Mother’s day is hard for us too, for a variety of reasons. We’re still feeling the emotional hit from it today, so I can understand the need to relax. I hope resting was able to give you some energy.

12 days ago

Many hugs to you all

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