Welcome to the dissociative cafe! Forums General Chat Any advice on doing “adult things” when managing life with your mental being? Reply To: Any advice on doing “adult things” when managing life with your mental being?

  • Shardspace

    June 9, 2023 at 8:33 pm
    Level 5: Froglet

    It is a big adjustment at first, and especially at the beginning with the forms and things getting started it can be overwhelming.

    The good news is that it does get easier after everything settles into a routine.

    Some things that help us:

    – A calendar, the kind with big squares for the days. Pay day, due dates, classes, parties, errands… everything gets a note on there so I can see what’s coming up. And I cartoon-style X out the box of every day that has passed so it also helps to keep track of what day we’re on. There are probably apps that accomplish all of this, but I like having it all in front of me on paper.

    – A notebook. Lists of things that need to be done, that can be checked off as you go. Between this and the calendar, it can be possible to divide out the stuff that needs to be done so you can do a little each day. For me, having it all planned out on paper takes a lot of the burden off, because then I’m not constantly trying to remember and re-remember things, which takes a lot of the energy. It’s great to be able to look at the list and be like, “Ok, just this and this and I’m all set today.” (Or if it’s a really busy day, I can look ahead and be like, “Ok today is going to be awful but tomorrow I have nothing I need to do”)

    – Asking lots of questions. Whenever you’re stuck, there’s almost certainly a forum of people talking about that very thing. I think I’ve looked up just about everything about adult life, all the way down to what kind of schedules tidy people have for keeping their houses clean. Sometimes that stuff makes for decent small talk as well.

    – Self care. If it was an awful day, if you accomplished something new, if it’s just feeling like a lot, if something big is coming up, if it’s a day off… there’s a long list of reasons to end the day with a favorite show or movie, set aside time for a fun hobby, soak in some fresh air and sunshine, or anything else that brings you joy.

    Oh, and on that note, it took me until college to realize this one:

    Sleep, nutrition, and hydration have a lot of power over one’s outlook on everything. I’d heard stuff like that before, but was amazed when I felt it play out in real life.

    Hadn’t had hardly any sleep, hadn’t eaten much, just hadn’t thought about it. Was still getting used to being entirely in charge of my daily schedule. Everything felt dark and hopeless and overwhelming.

    Got a sandwich with a bunch of vegetables on it and a big iced tea. And it was like magic. Everything felt so much better. It was very weird but then turned into what I felt to be a life hack. Similar magic often happens from late night to morning, after a good sleep (though that’s often easier said than done). Won’t solve everything, but it sure helps sometimes.

    I hope some of this helps!

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