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I am Phoenix we are a blend of the first born and the first fictive alter who helped me create the other hosts who then helped me to exist in the outside world.
I have autism, some may consider it severe. I know I write well and people think I am very able when reading my posts. Face-to face people do not get the same impression! I am only comfortable in a very limited set of circumstances as ‘myself’.
I have many hosts who communicate on my behalf in the outside world but I wanted one place where I could communicate as myself always only me…other hosts will not type on here. They have their own spaces, this is mine!
My hosts have lived much of my life for me I learned everything indirectly ‘through’ them especially anything dealing with other people so my social skills are not as advanced as theirs. Though illness and age I now have a calmer life one thats easier for me to remain present for more of the time. Many ex-hosts are now dormant or have disappeared.
I am left trying trying to work out who ‘me’ really is after all those years ‘inside’.
