In A Better (?) Place…

Blogs may include sensitive or triggering content. Reader discretion is advised.

Nope, I’m not writing this from the afterlife. I’m just no longer in mixed episode hell. Yay. Of course, that means I’ve mostly dived into depression, but hey, I’ll take it? At least I’ve been able to sleep. Also, I’m off the evil Latuda and back on the not-quite-as-evil Zyprexa. Actually, if Zyprexa didn’t make me gain weight like crazy (unintentional pun), it would probably be my miracle drug. When it comes to its effectiveness, its the best bipolar med I’ve ever been on. Sadly, it has one major side effect.

Tomorrow at 1:30 there is an appointment with The Psychiatrist…. so whether or not Zyprexa is staying around is still a bit of a question mark right now. I know my pulmonologist wants me off it, but if its the only thing that keeps me relatively sane, well, its sticking around. And I’m disappointed, since rebuilding the laptop, Google Chrome no longer wants to spell correct pulmonologist to demonologist. Well, he’ll always be my demonologist in my heart.

Oh, and after forever, I finally have an appointment for the sleep study… in a month. It seems that since my demonologist is new to PacMed, he wasn’t in all of Swedish’s systems or something, so stuff was all messed up with the referral. That seems to have finally been sorted, and I should have sleep study results mid-May.

For the record, Janet & I have made up. No, no kissing was involved. Ewwww. Just ewwww. That would be like making out with my twin.

I’m kind of at a loss for what to do without work. Normally I’d work on learning something if I wasn’t working a job, but I’m in too much of a brain fog. When it comes to retaining technical information right now, my brain is a non-stick pan that’s regularly turned upside down. There is quite a mess in the mental kitchen, pieces of networking and scripting stuff all over the stove, but not in my memory banks.

I would expect to just check out while I couldn’t work, but the switch to me becoming more general co-host during off hours seems to have stuck. I’m back to being co-conscious with Janet, too. She’s kind of in the background right now, in fact. Not in the front seat with me, but kind of back in the bus somewhere. Or maybe she is in the front seat, and my brain is just so foggy and full of molasses it seems like she’s further away. Hard to say. It’s not like there is a alter-o-meter that tells me how many neurons over she is.

At least my sense of humor seems to be back, even if I can’t concentrate worth a damn and this post has taken two listens to Evanescene’s new album to complete. The album is decent. It’s not as good as their first, but better than the third. Worth a listen if you’re a fan.

I’m going to dust off my audible subscription and download some audio books. Any recent sci-fi or fantasy recommendations? Something that isn’t overly complex, but has a plot would be nice. I’m looking for an escape, not to expand my mind… non-stick pan and all.

#meds #depressed

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