ER Rooms, Breathing, and Boogiepop

Blogs may include sensitive or triggering content. Reader discretion is advised.

I/we spent most of the day Thursday in the ER, getting pumped full of breathing treatments, steroids, and supplemental oxygen. We finally stabilized at around 91% Oxygen saturation, which, while kind of shitty, is pretty normal for us. They released us, saying that if I had to come back, they would like admit me into the hospital. So far, thanks to Prednisone and our normal breathing meds, we haven’t reached ER levels again… yet. We’re still are not having the easiest time of it.

Of course, I’m the one who got to lay in the ER by herself most of the day, because, well, I’m lucky like that. 😛 Eventually the crew came back around when things were less scary. What’s interesting is that we’ve kind of stayed “the crew” – a co-conscious jumble of Saoirse, Janet, and me. We’re still ourselves, but we’re basically all right up front. It makes for an interesting head space.

I’m the main one driving the body right now, because, hey, I earned it yesterday. Enough so that we broke out some Anime as a reward… and I was sorely disappointed. One of my favorite Anime series of all time is Boogiepop Phantom. They made a new BoogiePop series in 2019 that I haven’t seen yet, and, like breaking out the fine china, it was time to watch it. I’m two episodes in and I don’t know if I can even finish it.

The hero of the series, Boogiepop, is an alter of a high school girl. Yup, the hero has DID. 🙂 Unfortunately, in the new series, they seem to be choosing to go with the standard Hollywood BS version of DID. They are also handing out all the plot points in plain view. Part of the joy of the original Boogiepop Phantom series is its like a puzzle you have to put together over multiple viewings – it jumps around between characters and time periods, and the plots aren’t all obvious. Saoirse says it has a definite WTF factor to it. But the new series, well, kind of sucks.

Such a disappointment.

But enough about anime. One of the other things we did this weekend is put in an application for a house in the town my Mom and Stepdad live in. Mainly because of times like now, when we need someone to come be with us when we’re having problems. We all hope it works out, but Zillow says we’re the second applicant, so who knows. Hopefully we’ll know more on Monday.

Janet wants to try another co-conscious journaling post, which tries to capture how we talk to each other and what its like in our head space. Maybe we’ll try that after dinner. Usually we end up pulling them or never posting them in the first place, but they might be an interesting read.

Of course, this is probably an interesting read as I jump between using “I/my” and “We/Our”. The different usages make a kind of sense, though, I swear. The “I” in this post is Sharon, and if I’m talking solely from my point of view, or about times when I was the main one out, I use “I”. If its somebody else talking to me in my head, like Saoirse’s WTF or Janet’s wish for co-con journaling, I try to mention their names. If its a mixture of us, because multiple people were up front in the body/car, our two or more of us agreed on something, then, well… I use the plural.

Just to be REALLY confusing, we tend to use “I” exclusively when talking out loud, because we’re still in stealth mode most of the time. We don’t necessarily WANT people to know which one of us is driving. And we’ll answer for each other as well. My Mom and Therapy Guru says one of the easiest ways to tell when something is up is watching our eyes. I guess they are windows into the soul after all, eh?

Saoirse: So do you think this post was random enough? Maybe we should put the sentences in random order and let our viewers figure out the post like in your anime.

Sharon: Be Don’t Silly.

Janet: See I knew I could get you guys co-con journaling.

Saoirse: Maybe we can try it later. I’m hungry.

Sharon: And this folks is what its like in our head.

Janet: Not always, sometimes its blissfully quiet. In fact, its rare for three of us to be co-con at once. Usually its just a single one of us or a pair that are up front. But we’ve been experiencing a lot more co-con moments thanks to therapy, I guess.

Saoirse: Well, it has it to be worth something, think of all the computers we could buy with therapy money. <laugh> It is strange though, as Sharon and I have been co-con more in the recent months than in years, I think. Therapy Guru is pretty good at getting us to accept each other.

Janet: Yeah, I notice we haven’t had a “it’s all Janet’s fault” email for awhile. Is that accept…

Saoirse, interrupting: Janet, it’s all your fault. <laugh> Just kidding. BUT, its time for food folks, Ich habe hunger.

Janet: So what, we’re just going to post this as-is?

Saoirse: You’re the one who always wants to do an unedited blog of our conversations. Of course they’re only getting about 50% of what we’re really saying, because we can’t type that fast, and talk over each other. But, FOOD.

Janet: OK, ok.

Sharon: I’m posting this mess.

 #did #co-con #system-talk #breathing #health

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