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This post is probably going to be all over the place. So I’ll start with the easy stuff… is getting hit with a lot of spammers creating accounts. I’m not sure what I’m going to do about this – deleting them is getting old. The problem with hosting this site in Wix-land is I’m somewhat limited in the control I have over the site. I know, I know, Saoirse thought this should have been a self-hosted WordPress site from the get go. Maybe it should have been. At any rate, if you are a real person and your account gets zapped while I’m deleting spam accounts, you have my apologies – please feel free to rejoin.

And now for the harder topics.

(or maybe not, as I just deleted four paragraphs)

I, Janet, have a bit of a passive death wish. No, no threat to self or others, no plans to carry anything out, PLEASE don’t freak out on me. I just don’t really want to exist sometimes. I’m tired down to my soul, and overwhelmed. And, well, the truth is I have been my entire existence. I was born out of the instability and overwhelmed nature of a system in crisis in the mid 1990s. I was the “way out” – the “way forward”. And for the next 25 years, I was the system host, at least outside of work. Then about two years ago I stepped back, and t-e-c has rocked along largely without me.

I’m ready to retire.

No, mind melding with Saoirse isn’t retirement – if anything, its putting me back in the line of fire. I’m just done, folks. For the past two years, I’ve been overwhelmed, feeling like I should take my system host duties back on, but failing to do so. And yes, the only way out seemed to just die in my sleep.

But that’s not the only way out. I’m retiring. I’m officially stating to the rest of t-e-c that I never plan to take my system host duties back. 25 years of service is enough, or 27 if you count the last two years of agonizing that I wasn’t doing my job. It’s time for me time. Let me sleep, play games, and not give a fuck about larger outside world stuff.

#did #ex-host

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