So Nervous About Sunday’s Hangout

Blogs may include sensitive or triggering content. Reader discretion is advised.

I am not a charismatic 20 something that has thousands of followers.  I’m an extremely overweight mess in her late 40s that unconsciously pulls out her hair when stressed.  And while I’m sure y’all will be friendly, I have a lot of social anxiety.  I’m afraid that I’ll disappoint people who show up.  I’m also afraid that I’ll be so nervous I’ll switch out, which sucks because this project is my baby, and I want to be present.

I’m going through a period of insomnia and higher than normal anxiety, likely because of the holidays and the fact that we’re going down on a psych medication we’re trying to get off of.  So yeah, I’ll have to brush my hair just right so you don’t see the bald spot where I’ve picked at my scalp until its bled. I may fall asleep at the keyboard because I’ve had so little sleep. (I’m averaging between 1 and 3 hours a night, so I’m exhausted this week, but my mind won’t shut off. )   I may switch out to a more social part…  but damn it, I’m going to try!  🙂

The hangout video will NOT be uploaded to YouTube or shared, so if you want to be a part of it, you need to be there live.  It’s purpose is not to generate content, but to attempt a genuine connection with other people dealing with similar stuff.  So come as you are, you don’t need to be a charismatic 20 something either (not that there’s anything wrong with that).  I can’t promise it’ll be great, but unless you’re a troll, I promise to do my best to accept you just as you are.  You are valid, you are valuable and you are welcome here.

#anxiety #zoom

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1 year ago

We don’t really hang out online with people a lot personally, we have bad teeth so totally know the stigma that comes with talking on camera, and we’re a 25 year old with a history of various types of abuse including substance abuse so we’re far from the “attractive” archetype in online circles, we super feel you. If it’s an option we’ll probably only use camera sparingly (but will use it to show that, yknow, we’re an actual legit person lmao)

Honestly we’re just hoping to make some friends and don’t care what they look like or act like as long as they’re not hurting people. We’re poly and most of our partners have been “overweight”, we actually switched to pomade and powder for the most part to avoid hairwashing, you’re not alone or gross and we’re excited to hang!

Reply to  saoirse.t-e-c
1 year ago

That’s very much how we feel too honestly, we’ve been somewhat involved in the more “visible” side of the DID community for almost a decade and have mostly decided that the value we personally get from it is wholly in finding people with similar struggles who are cool to hang out with on the side of the main community. (That’s probably just a personal preference, not a judgement on the community lol)

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