Another Week Down…

Blogs may include sensitive or triggering content. Reader discretion is advised.

The biggest positive of this week? Getting my own oxygen concentrator. I feel so much better on supplemental oxygen. Hooray for that.

The biggest downer of the week? It seems my #1 allergy is to cat dander. 🙁 I’m not sure what I’m going to do about that. Maybe try allergy meds? That’s a little scary considering Claritin makes me break out in hives, and Allegra does the same + makes it hard to breathe. I needed to be hit with an epi shot after one allegra pill. That doesn’t make me excited about trying Zyrtec or another newer allergy pill. But, it may be the best answer to a difficult question. Physical health wise, it makes sense to get rid of the cat. Mental health wise, the cat is a very, very important part of my life. It breaks my heart that I may need to give her up…. and of course, I’m not the only one attached to the cat.

Speaking of being “not the only one”, I’d like to report a major accomplishment. I’m in chapter 13 of a book about someone that had MPD/DID. Janet’s record for a DID book I think was chapter 2. Now that I apparently can read about this disorder without checking out every 5 minutes, look out world.

I’m still working out who “I” am – but it hasn’t been that long since Saoirse and Janet melted together into me. That combination seems to have stuck. I’ve had Saoirse-ish moments, especially at work, and Janet-ish moments… but I’m still me, with full awareness of what Saoirse-ish or Janet-ish me is doing. It’s pretty cool. I also increasingly have moments when I’m just me-ish. I still, unfortunately, dissociate sometimes. I’m not cured, nor am I fully integrated…. but things have certainly changed.

Officially, the agreed by the council goal for the system is still functional multiplicity, not final fusion of all parts. If parts happen to fuse, that’s OK, but it’s not a therapy goal. I actually disagree with myselves on this, but Sharon and Wanderer both voted for functional multiplicity. The council has spoken. Democracy in action, and all that.

#did #fusion

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