Snow is a deeply depressed young woman. She holds our body differently, ramrod straight, a regal stance with her head lifted and chin tilted high. I’ve always had terrible posture, but when Snow takes over she is hyper aware of every part of this body.
I’ve yet to get to know Snow the way I know the others, because to be honest, I dread her appearance. She’s got a numb, uncaring veneer swathed over a mass of such deep sadness and rage that I don’t want to look. All I want is to get away from her. She is the opposite of me, while I’m super social and never say no to a night on the town, Snow hates – well, everyone. Her attitude embarrasses me.
It has only recently come to my attention that Snow is a different personality. When I’m Snow, her Snow-ness seeps into me. I feel nasty, mean and unkind. I want to push people away, and I feel no closeness to anyone. And that’s so at odds with who I am that it’s incredibly distressing. I value my empathy more than anyone. My ability to connect has kept me sane. In other words, it’s horrible.
If anyone has any ideas about communicating with Snow without being influenced by her – please do tell me.
I recommend writing her. You can do that at any time.