Mental Health and Accountability

We all know that it can be challenging to deal with difficult situations when you are struggling with your mental health. When something is going on for you that is deeply affecting you – or there is something that you feel is a “reason” why you did something or behaved in a certain way – it can be incredibly easy to want to focus on it.

I recently heard an incredible quote that is very important for us all to remember: “You cannot mental health your way out of accountability.” This is what we are always talking about when it comes to system responsibility. 

If you have made a mistake – if you have erred in any way in your life and hurt people – the thing to focus on is not the reasons why you made that mistake. Instead, it’s time to focus on taking responsibility for your actions and making amends. As you do this, don’t focus on yourself. Don’t focus on what you went through or why you did what you did. Instead, focus on them, how what you did affected them, and what you can do to make it right.

Later – on your own and without putting this burden on them – you can reflect on what you went through and what you might need to work on in your own life to try to stabilize and make sure it doesn’t happen again. Mental health can explain why some things happen, but it is not an excuse and does not get you out of responsibility.

In addition, if you see people in your life who are constantly using mental health as an excuse – whether they are people close to you or people on the Internet – that might be a warning sign. They are not horrible people, but maybe they haven’t done the healing they need and aren’t necessarily modeling healthy behaviors. Don’t play into these narratives where they blame their inappropriate or destructive actions on their mental health – and if it’s safe/healthiest/best for you to remove them from your life, don’t be afraid to put yourself first.